


Can't Feel That Way

by Ladyluckk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyluckk/pseuds/Ladyluckk
Summary: Hermione pushes her old feelings for Draco down, but he won't take no for an answer.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	Can't Feel That Way

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter.  
> A/N: Quick story written for a friend with the prompt "I can't feel that way" on tumblr.

Hermione is not sure why she opens the door. She knows it is him before she even makes her way towards the front of her apartment, yet she opens it anyways. Just like she knows that they’ll end up in a never ending argument if she lets him in, and yet she still lets him push his way past her and inside.

Deep down she knows why she let him in, it’s for the same reason he’s here.

But that doesn’t change anything.

It can’t.

He is the one to initiate the conversation, Hermione being too afraid of saying all the wrong things and letting something slip out that she’ll regret later. So, she lets him rant, let’s him get everything that he’s pent up inside out and off his chest.

It doesn’t take long for the bickering to start, it starts off small but steadily grows. She knows what he is leading up to and tries to stop him from even getting there in the first place. Tries to stop him from confessing something she had hoped he would have successfully buried; something she wasn’t able to do.

But you can’t always get what you want. That’s a lesson Hermione knows all too well when it comes to Draco Malfoy.

His silver hair is untamed, pulled in all different directions from him grasping at its roots. And his gaze is anywhere but her until it slips out of his mouth. It surprises her, and she thinks it surprises him too by the look of bewilderment in his grey eyes; wide and frantic.

No matter how hard she tried to brace herself for this moment, nothing could have prepared her for the way her heart flutters when hearing the words out loud.

But it doesn’t matter.

It can’t.

Her heart squeezes tightly at the revelation.

“You know I can’t feel that way,” Hermione says quietly after a moment of silence. Unable to raise her voice, afraid it’ll give herself away.

Draco looks down at her, unconvinced by her confession. “Why?” he asks.

It’s a simple question. Because I love someone else she wants to say. But she doesn’t.

Instead, Hermione swallows past the ever growing lump in her throat as she looks down at the ring on her hand. “Because I just got engaged, Draco,” she pleads, playing with the edge of the diamond before looking back up at him. “I’m going to get married.”

She hopes he’d leave it at that and make this easier for them both. That he’d accept the fact that things were different now. But Draco never makes things easy.

“But you’re not in love with him,” he argues, taking a step closer to her. He is close enough that she can feel the heat radiate off of him and she has to do everything in her power to not shrink away.

Hermione doesn’t step back, instead she crosses her arms defensively as she glares at him. “I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

His condescending tone grates on her nerves and she can’t help but get flustered around him. “You’re being an unbelievable twat right now,” she decides to throw at him, finding her anger easier to deal with than the sharp tightness in her gut.

Draco scoffs at that. His jaw clenches and unclenches like he is trying to control himself as he shakes his head at her. “Says the woman about to marry a man she doesn’t even love!”

“This has to stop, Draco,” she pleads again, starting to sound desperate as she rubs her forehead in frustration. She takes a moment to collect herself as she tries to get a grip on her nerves. “We have to accept it’s time to move on,” she says, dropping her hands.

“We?” he repeats as he tilts his head. A slight smirk plays at the corner of his lips despite his irritation with her. “So you admit it then,” he probes, closing any distance between them. “You still have feelings for me.”

This time Hermione steps back from him as she grits her teeth. “That’s besides the point–”

“That’s exactly the fucking point, Hermione!” he cuts her off, throwing his hands up in frustration as his stare turns icy. “You say we have to move on, but why?” he goads. “Because of Ronald fucking weasley?”

“Because of YOU!” Hermione finally explodes, pushing him away from herself.

It isn’t until the words leave her mouth that she is reminded of why she can’t listen to him. It causes the tears that well in her eyes to force their way out, hot and wet against her flushed skin.

“You left me remember?” she reminds him, wiping frantically at her tears in a desperate attempt to hide her emotions. She doesn’t look at him; too embarrassed with herself to look him in the eye over how much he can affect her.

“You were the one who decided it was over, not me. I was a mess and you were gone–” She sucks in a shaky breath through her teeth to calm herself before she pushes past her reluctancy to tell him.

“Ron was there to help pick up the pieces, so don’t you dare say I don’t love him, because I do,” she grounds out in anger before lifting her gaze to glare at him. “He’s always been there for me, something I can’t say the same for you.”

There is a flash of regret in his eyes, something Hermione isn’t used to seeing. His face is normally a blank canvas, it always is when speaking with him about anything serious. He never wants to give himself away, but tonight is different. He allows her to see his hurt and confusion as he looks at her.

She isn’t sure if she wants to, seeing the pain in his eyes only twists the knife further and makes this so much harder for her.

But that doesn’t change anything.

It can’t. 

Something she seems to keep saying to herself and has been ever since he came back into her life.

But she is right. He is the one who left her and she moved on, or tried to anyways. It doesn’t matter how she feels about him, she had moved on once before with Ron when he was gone and she could do it again.

“I’m here now!” Draco starts. The softness in his tone throws Hermione completely off. But she tries to not let it get to her. “And I’m not going to sit around and pretend to be alright with you marrying some daft bastard just because you’re afraid,” he adds.

She ignores the rude comment about Ron, too focused on his final accusation.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Hermione huffs out in a dry laugh. She can’t believe what he is saying. “You’re the one who said I would be better off with someone else, which was complete bollocks. Now that I am with someone else, you just can’t stand to see it.”

“You’re damn right I can’t stand it!” Draco sneers, his tenderness quickly being replaced by urgency as he steps closer to her again. “I may have fucked up, but at least I can fucking admit my mistakes,” he says. “You’re about to make your biggest one by marrying someone just because it’s convenient for you, not because you love him.”

“What do you want me to say Draco?” Hermione shouts running a hand through her hair in frustration as more tears fall down her face. “Do you want to hear that I love you? Because I fucking do okay! But it can’t change anything–”

“Why?”

“Because–” she pauses, struggling to find the right words.

“Because you’re afraid,” he finishes, his silver eyes boring into her own.

The intensity behind them causes her to stop short and she doesn’t know what to say. She stands there with her blood rushing in her ears and her heart pounding so hard and fast against her rib cage she is almost certain he can hear it.

But she doesn’t seem to be the only one struggling with words. Draco’s breathing is fast and she can feel his hot and uneven breath against her face, but he takes a moment to calm himself before he lowers his voice.

“I fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me because I was too chicken shit to tell you the truth,” he admits his head lowering in shame for a moment before he forces himself to look at her. “And I’m not going to allow you to make the same mistake I did.”

Hermiones heart leaps into her throat and she has to swallow past it before she can speak. “But what about Ron?” she asks, her heart squeezing at the thought of hurting him. “I can’t do this to him.”

“You can’t just marry him because of guilt either,” Draco points out. “Besides, he’ll bloody hate me for it instead of you; not that it’s any different from now.”

Hermione lets out a sad laugh at that as she lifts her hand to wipe at the last tear that falls.

They sit there in silence. Neither one of them knows what to say. He is right, she couldn’t do this to Ron. As much as she doesn’t want to hurt him, either way she spun it he will end up being hurt anyways.

“How did it come to this?” she finally whispers, more to herself than anything, but Draco answers anyways.

“Because I’m a git?” he provides a small smirk on his lips.

“I would have gone with a bloody bastard, but git works too,” she quips. They both laugh softly, taking this moment to calm themselves from all the emotions still hanging in the air between them.

Hermione had spent so much time pushing her feelings down, trying to suppress any lingering feelings she had for Draco. And all she needed to do was admit what she tried so hard to deny. But she can’t help but feel remorseful for what she’s going to have to tell Ron. She still loves him, a part of her always will as he will always be one of her best friends, which upsets her deeply.

As if reading her thoughts, Draco reaches out to place his hand under her chin to lift it gentle. “He’ll be okay,” he promises.

Hermione gives him a sad closed-lipped smile, knowing he is right and it’ll be better for them both in the long run. “I know.”

Then he uses his hold on her to pull her close and place his lips on hers. The force behind the kiss is softer than what she expected, but not an unwelcome surprise. He slides his hand down her back as she presses him fully into herself as if she were to let go he would disappear like once before. But he doesn’t when she finally pulls back from the kiss.

She does not know what is going to happen now, but she does know that it doesn’t matter. If Draco, the one man she knows would rather die than admit defeat is able to own up to his fear then she knows she can too. Whatever comes next, she knows they’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! Kudos/Comments are both appreciated and welcomed!


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